


I'm an (actual) baby.

by OvarianEruption



Category: Cartoon Cartoons, Cartoon Network, Tig N' Seek, Tiggle Winks
Genre: Cartoon Cartoons - Freeform, Cartoon Network - Freeform, Child Abandonment, HBO Max, My First Work in This Fandom, Newborn Children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:26:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25546639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OvarianEruption/pseuds/OvarianEruption
Summary: Boss finds an extremely rare Baby Bobo doll on the street that looks like a first-edition version of the doll except it looks realistic when he opens the box up...perhaps too realistic.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	I'm an (actual) baby.

**Author's Note:**

> At one point in our writing lives, we have that influence from old Fanfiction.net stories that strikes new ideas. For this work, it was an old Chowder fanfiction that was quite grim and morbid as it dealt with the accidental drowning of the main character. Unfortunately, the fic is no longer online and there is no visible archive to reread the work. The creepy details of this fanfiction were ingrained in my teenage mindset and remained a potential influence for future works. This influence has stayed in my young adult mind (surprisingly) and it will be visible in this Tig N’ Seek fanfiction you are about to read. Please note that a viewing of season one, episode eight (The Tig-Tale Heart) will make this work more of an interest to read. Actually, watching all of season one will make it more interesting to understand the character dynamics. There are also a few CN references detailed in this work as well. Feel free to call them out in the comments below. Thank you for checking this fanfiction out.

Wee Gee City has always been a victim of heavy rainfall in its spring season. It was evident throughout the entire day and night, peaceful for those who loved hearing the heavy showers, but a complete hassle for the working class who made their way through the bustling city.

For the Department of the Lost and Found, when rain is apparent in the city, there are always more items to search for. Thus, increasing the workload between Boss, Nuritza, and This Guy, the three employees who were currently running the department. The small building where the Department was newly situated, however, was not up to building code per se. Nuritza, a rabbit who was skilled in repairs of any sort, found herself frustrated in patching up the multiple pipes that caused leaks throughout the main area. Several buckets that withhold the leaking water were all over the hardwood floors of the department.

“Damn it!!” Nuritza shouted, situating a small bucket near the desk of This Guy. “Just how much damage does this new building have?”

This Guy was filing through the newly organized file cabinet behind his wooden desk. Multiple cases from the previous department clashed alongside the piles of new cases which seemed to increase every day. Ever since the Department of Lost and Found switched to a new, small building and witnessed a generational leader change, it felt as if the work kept piling on.

“Suppose the Chief should have convinced Boss to keep our old building.” This Guy remarked to Nuritza. “But with the current retail market, it will take decades just to return to that building. Alongside having to rebuild our credibility as a lost and found department with Boss.”

This Guy, holding an organized pile of documents in manila folders that started with the letter “C”, tucked them all inside of the new drawer. He quickly shut the metal drawer closed. Knowing that he could not ignore his conservation with Nuritza, he might as well have a quick break. The department felt a bit stable as of right now.

“The Chief really had to retire right now...right when this city barely escaped an economic collapse,” Nuritza complained, shoving another bucket under a leaking pipe near the closet door. “Everything was fine before he left...what made him think that Boss was stable enough to run the Department of Lost and Found?”

This Guy reflected on the Chief’s sudden departure. It was only two years ago when a worldwide economic downfall left millions of people without stable careers, education, health care, and food. Jobs and resources were scarce for nearly everyone, save those who kept their essential jobs. Medical care was unattainable for a period of time, overwhelming hospitals and leaving vulnerable lives to pass on. Families chose to separate themselves from their children as they could no longer support them. Foster care resources and crowded orphanages were overwhelmed with the influx of children that required essential care.

While some businesses remained on thin ice as the situation passed, generational businesses were destroyed entirely as previous leaders failed to pass their legacy down to their children. The Department of Lost and Found was fortunate to survive the economic collapse and the generational transition of leadership as it remained an essential service for those who needed to reunite with their important possessions. The change in leadership came as Chief grew exhausted over the past few years of witnessing a societal crisis in the city and knew that leaving his position to Boss would be essential to continue the department. Yet to his two employees, they felt that the change of leadership seemed too soon.

Boss, although capable of running the department, was not exactly the best finder. As a matter of fact, he was currently the only finder of the department. Once Chief retired, so did his previous finder who chose to leave the department altogether. Boss was not always persistent in finding items immediately. Rather, he took another approach alongside searching for lost items.

“Well...the Boss certainly has a black market running in the broom closet. Guess that allows our paychecks to exist.” This Guy remarked, pointing to the closet door which was almost shut but provided a visible glimpse of what seemed to be dolls.

As society rebuilds itself back into a familiar format of the past, the black market of collectible items continued amongst those who needed a living wage. It was a hidden threat against struggling retail stores who failed to fully stock their store shelves, but it was a tactic that kept the lower classes afloat in the city. Boss slowly became the aficionado in the black market of selling toy dolls. His intention was to at least give young kids (orphaned or with actual families) toys to play with and toy collectors’ a reason to feel serotonin again. A popular children’s toy that recently debuted on the market is the Bobo Dancing Baby Doll which has a hefty resale value. Boss often sold these dolls by the double-digits per day, all while finding one lost item for the department. The location where he gets his stock of Bobo dolls was questionable to his two employees. Regardless of the illegal act, it helped with their paychecks.

“Really? Selling toys that some kids are just going to throw away in the dumpster by next year?” Nuritza argued, opening the closet door to look at the multiple Bobo dolls crowding multiple shelves. “For all we know, some of these dolls will be in the dumpster by next year. Maybe they’ll be in the lost cases – but never reclaimed like the stuff in the cellar!”

Nuritza closed the broom closet and looked at This Guy. While the rabbit was not one to worry much about the real world, she questioned the sustainability of her career at that moment.

“You really think the department will be here next year?” Nuritza asked This Guy.

“Judging by the increased amount of lost item cases and the decreased attention from Boss...we will be fortunate enough to be employed for more than a year.” This Guy replied, observing the numerous slips of paper requiring high attention.

While it felt relieving to hear a somewhat positive opinion from This Guy, Nuritza felt that the department may just fall apart. Just like the new building that kept leaking no matter how many buckets or mashed potato piles she uses to stop the pipe leaks.

The two then heard a creak coming from an open door. Nuritza turned to see Boss stepping out of his office, dressed in a yellow raincoat. He approached his workers quickly, looking as if he needed to leave.

“Alright This Guy, what’s the latest item to find?” Boss asked before he began to quickly converse about his latest gig to the employees.

“Now, I’m in a bit of a rush. A man is coming here to pick up a Bobo doll in one hour – all the way from Marzipan City apparently. Their city is - hooo, get this – worse with the orphan situation than here. He barely adopted this young kid a few days ago. He’s going to be his future apprentice. Now just imagine if I was like him! Adopting a kid!! Don’t think it’ll happen to me, but I’d probably lost my shi– “

“Okay okay, Boss! Another doll for another kid!!” Nuritza complained. “Now, you need to be careful with your blabbing on kids because you’ll never know when it’ll hit back.”

“I know! I know! It’s just everyone I know has a baby now. In this crappy economy, I just find it insane. Even if things are starting to get better you think people would be using condoms instead of abandoning their children– “

“Alright Boss...you have plenty of cases to choose from.” This Guy interrupted to Boss, holding a black file tray in front of him.

“This Guy, just choose me anything from the pile!” Boss said, pushing the tray back to him. “It needs to be within the city, actually close to the department building because you will never know if that Marzipan guy will be here. For all we know, he could be coming through these doors in ten minutes.”

This Guy shuffled the case papers quickly and picked out a pink paper slip.

“A black leather briefcase that is owned by an artist. Consists of expensive paint tubes and paintbrushes. It was last seen on Tuesday afternoon around Albonquetine Lane.” This Guy read on the slip, then handed it over to Boss who tucked the slip of paper in his raincoat.

“Awesome!” Boss commented. “That’s two blocks away from the department. I’ll be fast and if that man shows up, just tell him I’m out of this building. I’ll be right back!”

Boss grabbed an umbrella from the rack and walked out of the department building.

“Let’s pray he finds that item.” This Guy told Nuritza who nodded. The two immediately went back to their assigned tasks.

* * *

Heavy rain continued to pour down as Boss walked across the street. The increased wind made it difficult to hold his umbrella, which unfortunately was gone with the wind as it slipped out of Boss’s hand.

“Ah whatever,” Boss muttered, continuing his walk. “What artist leaves their expensive briefcase in the rain?! Like, all of your pricey paints are going to spill out of it and end up on the sidewalk. Well, it will be a colorful sidewalk that’s for sure...”

Boss continued on his walk until he found himself on Albonquetine Lane.

“Alright...where can the briefcase be?” Boss said to himself.

He inspected the staircases of the townhouses, followed around the wheeled trash cans that organized plastics, cardboard, and burnable trash respectively, and trespassed the small community garden in one alleyway. No artist briefcase was visible.

“There has to be another alleyway on this street.” Boss reminded himself, reflecting on his memory of the lane he occasionally passes by.

Boss passed two other townhouses before finally seeing the crowded alleyway which was closed off by a metal picket fence. Trash cans and empty, stacked boxes surrounded the neighboring walls. Boss walked further into the alleyway, making out the briefcase between two large metal trash cans.

“Ah, there it is!” Boss said, picking up the briefcase. “I should have time to get back to the department! Another successful find!!”

As Boss made his way out of the dark, smelly alleyway, he instantly found his eyes set on a stack of boxes. While a few of the boxes were mainly cardboard, some resembled the packaging of toys. Boss put the briefcase down and inspected the boxes. He tossed the plain cardboard boxes away and picked up several of the toy boxes.

“Potential paycheck right here...don’t mind if I do.” He mumbled to himself.

The first box was a Darbie Pink and Pretty doll...with no doll. Boss tossed the pink, glittery box aside. Next.

The second box was the Black Hat Organization Anti-Gravity Device...with no sphere looking toy or whatever. What even was this brand? It was probably a product made in a third-world country. Boss tossed the weird box away from him.

The third box was the Chocolate Sailor membership kit and antidote relief kit...which just consisted of empty, sticky candy wrappers and a bottle of used insulin. Talk about unhygienic! Boss gagged and tossed that box far away from him, where it landed near another destroyed cardboard box. The glass bottle of insulin shattered itself separately following the strong throw.

The fourth and final box left Boss in disbelief. Now, he couldn’t believe his eyes at all. It couldn’t be...it was...a Bobo Dancing Baby Doll box! A possible and original first-edition Bobo doll! Boss picked up the package, inspecting the labels, the product description, and the details of the character on the box. He noticed a bit of weight from holding the package. The doll was likely inside of the box.

“What the- this can’t be?!” Boss gasped. “A Bobo doll in an actual box? It has to be the first edition version of the doll! They don’t put them in the boxes anymore!”

Boss inspected the box once again to notice that the package was resealed. Perhaps the doll was a broken model. Well, what mattered anyway? The first edition of a popular children’s toy, even damaged, could probably sell for a high price among the desperate toy collectors that wanted their childhood back or the weird strange nerds that lived with their mothers. The high value of the first-edition Bobo doll could lead to a nice sum to split into paychecks between him, Nuritza, and This Guy. The doll could probably support the Department of Lost and Found for years to come, not letting the business collapse like the numerous places that died years ago as Wee Gee City became a burden of bad businesses under a failed economy.

As Boss felt eager to share this with This Guy and Nuritza, he began to notice that the rain stopped. The clouds remained gray but slowly the sun appeared underneath the clouds. Sunshine finally reclaimed Wee Gee city, scaring away the miserable rain showers that poured for multiple weeks with no end.

“Well... today is finally going my way!!” Boss said to himself. “Daddy probably sent me a good omen...from his second house in Beach City, Delmarva!!”

Boss happily skipped with the doll box back to the Department of Lost and Found...completely forgetting the missing artist briefcase in the alleyway.

* * *

“HEY GUYS!”

Boss entered the building, receiving attention from his two employees.

“You cannot believe what I found in the alleyway on Albonquetine Lane!!” Boss announced, showing the closed Bobo doll box to his two employees. He placed the box on the top of This Guy’s desk and quickly removed his soaked raincoat, tossing it on the hardwood floor.

“And where is the briefcase-?” This Guy tried to ask Boss.

“Um...I didn’t find it, but I found this instead!” Boss exclaimed to his employees. “In this resealed box is a first-edition Dancing Bobo doll! Now get this, most of the dolls I acquired and resold these past few months have a visible plastic tag on the wrist. Well, for this specific doll, it actually comes in a cardboard box. Yeah, it’s sealed but I’m sure the resale value will be high!!”

“Pffft, who cares about the packaging?” Nuritza replied to Boss. “The kid who gets this toy is probably going to play with the doll until it falls apart. You found it in the alleyway, so the doll is probably broken in the box.”

“Or you likely picked up a box full of garbage instead.” This Guy told to Boss in complete honesty. “I highly recommend wearing PPE if you choose to reopen the box.”

“Well, regardless if it is gross trash or not, I’m going to go ahead and reopen it to inspect the first doll. Maybe...I can sell the box to that nerd in Townsville or the other dork in Aron City. They love first-edition dolls!!” Boss told them. “And they probably love the cardboard it comes in too.”

“Well, I pray you don’t catch anything from that box. Getting us all sick with that virus will not be fun again…” Nuritza told Boss, returning back to her ladder to complete her repair of the water pipe.

“Or a paper cut.” This Guy said to Boss, handing him a box cutter. Boss shook his head.

“This Guy, I won’t be needing that utility knife...I’ll just go ahead and rip off the tape.”

Boss gently got a hold of the small tab of clear tape that resealed the side of the box and pulled it off. He repeated the same action on the other side of the box.

“Ah perfect!! A pristine box.” Boss commented, then looking at This Guy and Nuritza. “And our future.”

Boss carefully lifted the coverlid of the Bobo doll packaging. His hands began to feel sweaty but aside from his giddiness, he was prepared to see the doll. The lid of the box was completely removed and dropped to the floor. Boss looked inside of the box.

“Oh my god...” was all he could say.

* * *

This Guy saw the shocked face of Boss and decided to glimpse into the box. Boss looked to This Guy who then stared at him with concern. The two found themselves in disbelief of what they saw in the doll’s packaging. Nuritza, meanwhile, was getting off her ladder when she then glanced at the men. She was in awe to see that the two were not reacting in multiple manners. What was in the box exactly that made them look like ghosts?

Nuritza slowly approached the others at the desk. What she saw in the box left her in a complete shock just like the others.

Inside of the box laid a newborn baby boy covered with dried amniotic fluid and vernix, making his soft skin look irritated and dry. His umbilical cord remained attached to his belly and to his placenta that still presented blood in the box. The infant looked to be an idle state, resting with a soft breath.

“Oh my god...wha...who...” Boss tried to speak up first but found himself fighting back the rush of tears on his face.

“Why....what mother....” This Guy found himself at a loss of words, unsure of how to react and how to comfort the others from what they saw in the box.

Nuritza found her own face feeling wet. She wiped the tears that rolled down her cheek. The trauma of witnessing the abandonment of a newborn infant left her upset but at the same time, she was angered on how a parent could do this to their own child.

“They...they did not care...they just wanted to fuck him over...” Nuritza muttered, before breaking down in tears quietly.

This Guy knew that the situation with abandoned children was horrible throughout the country. On the evening news, he heard of daily reports where children were forced to perform illegal acts and encounter stress, including suicidal ideations, following their abandonment. Infants were left behind to die to the elements in places throughout the city. The foster care system collapsed due to the abundance of children, turning away those who require care. The newborn, unfortunately, was planned to die with the elements of the outside world. Perhaps the parents had the intention to keep him...or to just dispose of him. Despite what their intention was, it did not matter at the moment.

Nuritza did her best to collect herself emotionally. She wiped her tears again and then rolled up the sleeves of her utility jumpsuit. This Guy looked at her.

“This Guy, go find some bath towels, a wooden clothing pin, and some scissors.” She instructed him, as he went to look for the items on the other side of the room. “I’m going to go ahead and pick him up out of the box.”

“Nu...Nuritza...why don’t I go ahead and pick him up?” Boss told the white rabbit. “Get the phone number for the police department to report...”

“And see the abundance of stolen toys helping to pay the department? No! The cops are already attacking those who struggle. They’ll go after the department and our reputation will be worse!” Nuritza exclaimed, with tears still running down her face. “We can’t turn him in. I don’t know if he’ll even be alive by the end of the day.”

This Guy quickly returned with the items Nuritza requested, which she took from him. She removed the newborn outside of the box and wrapped him around one bath towel to clean off the remainder of fresh body fluids. The infant was quickly awoken by her act and weakly wailed out.

“Sssh...it’s alright...” Nuritza comforted the infant, laying him back on the wooden desk. With the remaining supplies, she clamped the umbilical cord with the wooden clothespin and carefully cut the umbilical cord and the placenta away from the infant’s belly with the metal scissors. With another towel, she swaddled the baby up.

“Calling the authorities is not a proper solution as of right now.” This Guy explained to Boss, who was collecting himself from seeing the infant cry. “The foster care system is unfortunately overwhelmed with the situation from these past few years. Even if life is returning to normal, some things will sadly remain corrupt in Wee Gee city in the years ahead. Children, unfortunately, are not respected in this society.”

Nuritza approached Boss, cradling the wrapped infant.

“Boss, would you like to hold him now?” She asked him, as he carefully took the wrapped newborn out of her arms.

Boss took a close look at the infant who whimpered softly and cradled him.

“He’s a miracle...” Boss commented in a soft voice, before breaking down in a sob. “I can’t believe he was just stuck in some toy box to die...he’s a god-damn survivor I tell you what.”

This Guy and Nuritza came close to him, hugging him tightly. The newborn felt the tight embrace from the trio, cooing quietly as they looked at him.

This Guy inspected the cherub face of the newborn. Wiped away from its natural body fluids, the baby looked angelic. A pure figure of life that did not deserve to be sealed away to a slow death.

“He looks happy now,” Nuritza said. “He’s happy that he’s here with us.”

“He wanted to live. That’s all.” Boss stated to the two of them.

“Actually Boss, he lived because of you.” This Guy admitted to Boss. “Your hobby of going after plastic toys led to you saving this child. Had it not been for your obsession, who knows if the children would have survived.”

“Well, it’s also you guys. Nuritza cleaned him up which helped him cry, you fetched the supplies, and... I found him.” Boss said to them. “We’re practically his guardians now. He can’t be out there anymore...I think he needs to stay with me here in the department.”

“Now Boss, you must know that– “

“This Guy, I understand the responsibility I am about to handle. My Daddy promised me that random good omens will always keep you positive...even if they alter your young life in some way.” Boss told his employee. “Maybe I need to have this life change...instead of sucking out cash from people who buy worthless toys that will end up in a landfill by next year.”

Boss felt a sense of justice knowing that he needed to change his ways to keep the department afloat for his two employees. Perhaps having the baby around could reinforce the department’s responsibility for finding lost items and returning them. Providing for a new life was necessary to continue on the family business...was this what his father intended when he lent him his position? Looking at the human baby...maybe it was a coincidence with his changing adult life to change his goals in life.

“I know you mentioned the orphanages being packed This Guy and I don’t think this baby would thrive being in there. Same if we were to try and look for the parent who committed this act.” Boss said to This Guy. “The baby needs to stay with me.”

“Well, in that case…. Boss, the baby is going to need plenty of care...with a few items.” This Guy recommended.

“We have plenty of baby toys down in the cellar for him to play with as he grows up,” Boss suggested.

“Not just toys Boss,” Nuritza added. “The baby is going to need formula, bottles, diapers, safety pins, wipes, a place to sleep...”

“Oh yeah. Essentials...” Boss replied.

“There is going to be plenty of work with rearing this child.” This Guy stated to Boss. “A bit of a financial dent but proper rearing and having a home will make him all worth.”

“Yeah let’s not call the baby ‘Child’,” Boss told This Guy. “He’s going to need a proper name.”

“What names do you guys have in mind for the kid?” Nuritza asked.

“Man, this is happening very fast. Uh...maybe something with the letter T.” Boss suggested to the others. “He looks like his name starts with a T.”

Boss carefully factored a potential name with the letter T. He also reflected on the manufacturer of the Bobo dolls which was named under the same letter. What was it called? Tigglewinks-something but an abbreviation of it sounded better. A similar name was easier to put professionally on a document. The trio quickly shouted out different names at each other.

“Tyson, Tyler, Terrance, Timothy...”

“Antigone, Taurus, Theodore, Thomas...”

“Tobias, Toby, Titus, Tigran...”

“Tigran!!! That works perfectly!!” Boss exclaimed, holding the newborn high up. “His name is Tigran!!”

“Sounds great professionally...but how about a cute nickname?” Nuritza added.

“Tiggy.” This Guy suggested.

“Perfect!”

* * *

The rest of the day involved the final sales of several Bobo dolls to many parental figures (including the man from Marzipan City – who looked quite old to be a father and a chef surprisingly), cleaning up the entire office, purchasing baby products, and the trio making arrangements on the phone to figure out how Boss can adopt Tiggy. The adoption documents and formal government meeting were not expected to be held until the next month. In the meantime, Boss rearranged the upstairs bedroom area to accommodate an area for the newborn baby and his personal living space. This included closing off the metal pole he would usually slide down on to enter the main floor. He also called Chief to let him know about the events of the entire day. Chief listened and gave his son his blessing in running the department...along with a prayer that the baby will thrive in his arms.

Once the evening arrived, it was time for Nuritza and This Guy to go home.

“Now, you have our phone numbers Boss...if anything happens with Tiggy, please call us,” Nuritza stated to Boss who was cradling the sleeping infant.

“I can speed-dial my mother in Elmore and she can offer great rearing advice in a four-way call with all of us.” This Guy added.

“I have all of your personal info to call you guys for help. Now, please head home before the sun sets down. Crime is still a thing in this part of town.” Boss told the two employees. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow morning.”

After making their farewells, Boss went upstairs to his living space with baby Tiggy in tow. He rested the sleeping infant in a white bassinet that This Guy found and took out of the cellar earlier in the day.

“You are probably tuckered out from today. This place is going to be so much fun for you I guarantee it. You know, maybe you can be a finder for us in a few years.” Boss spoke to the sleeping baby. “Who knows...you might even claim this entire room for yourself. Get a cat...a roommate...you’ll be living rent-free in this place for the rest of your life!”

Tiggy continued sleeping, occasionally making coos of noise from his rest.

“Well...I have one major task to complete before I hit the sack. Go ahead and let Tiggy rest before he wakes up again for more soy formula.”

Boss quietly walked downstairs and saw several Bobo Dancing Baby dolls on This Guy’s disinfected desk. He opened the broom closet and began to stack them on the highest shelf. The toy scalper business was kaput for now and these dolls needed to be hidden. Unless a toddling Tiggy were to climb the shelves and take all of them down in a few years. However, Boss doubted that move from him.

After all, some toys become relevant to the new generation every few years. Who knows? Maybe Tiggy will be impressed by the Bobo Dancing Baby Doll in a few years.


End file.
